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District Of Columbia

District Of Columbia

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At 3:30 am June 22nd 2022 I awoke to the booming sound of thunder rattling my windows and lightning illuminating my room. At first I thought it was a car exhaust, a firework, or a gunshot which are all known culprits for waking me up in the small hours of the morning. But as I heard the rolling boom fade away I realized it was a natural occurrence. There is much fun made of us southern Californians and our over-reaction to real weather. Believe me when I say though that thunder and lightning of all things is so, so rare. Even more rare for me was the proximity of it, it felt like there were explosions just outside my window. I silently cursed to myself because of all the nights this night I was trying to get as much sleep as possible because I had a flight to catch at 7:50 am. The jolt, along with the adrenaline that came with it virtually guaranteed I would no longer be sleeping that morning. I didn’t know it but the thunderstorms would follow me all the way to my destination: Washington DC, and even further to Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia on the second leg of my journey. Although the thought crossed my mind I chose not to dwell on this fitful start as an omen of what would come and before I knew it I was touching down on federal land.

From the national portrait gallery

Columbia is a personification of the United States because we love anthropomorphizing things, and it lets us assign optimistic traits to ourselves. Yet Columbia is named after Columbus who as modern revisionist history points out was more akin to the Americas’ first slave master than hero. Washington is a founding father and the first president of these United States, and perhaps most curiously…a Virginian. Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, George Mason and Patrick Henry were also Virginians and together they formed some revolutionary heavy hitters. They helped write the documents we still refer back to almost 250 years later. So I say it’s curious because not 85 years after declaring independence from Britain, Virginia declared independence from the United States along with the rest of the confederate states. It would seem that slavery was too precious to their economy to get rid of even though most of the rest of the world had outlawed it already. Economic concerns trumping humanistic decisions are a recurring theme in our nation’s history. We refer to ourselves as a democratic republic but our system of government might better be called Capitalism. If the government is a political machine running the nation then money is the lubricant, the fuel, and its necessity is the guiding force behind the whole apparatus.

Looking through our nation’s history in DC presents a problem, the danger of storytelling. Even here on this post I present to you my opinions, mixed with some factual evidence, laid out in a way that accentuates the jaded, pessimistic, yet still prone to inspiration mind behind these words. There are around 74 museums in the capital, they stand majestically side to side with a who’s who of massive federal agencies. Walking through some of them I found it interesting to see descriptions of Benjamin Franklin with addendums of how he used slaves make his inventions, or descriptions of how many slaves each founding father owned underneath their portrait. It would seem that we are at last trying to hold a mirror up to the story of our national identity. For how long though was all this subtext and context missing, left buried under the rug in order to present a satisfying tale of tenacity and doggedness against the tyranny of King George. I’m an avid visitor of museums and I like to do a depth first dive into the exhibits which often means I leave the museum unfinished as I’m forced out by docents. The museums in DC were vast, varied, and detailed and yet for all that has been written about history what has been left out?

Lincoln’s Death Hat

I sat in the very theatre that Abraham Lincoln was in when he was shot to death by John Wilkes Booth. Exclaiming “Sic Semper Tyrannis” he ran from the stage where now a ranger was telling us about his fate. The latin phrase was a reference to the murder of Ceasar and it also appears on the seal of Virginia. Presumably Booth believed Lincoln was a tyrant, abusing his war time powers against the confederacy. Yet how could Lincoln abuse his power against the states that had seceded from under his rule? Even though the Confederacy lost it hasn’t stopped them from unloading a slew of pro-confederate propaganda immediately after the war to this very day. The Lost Cause is an attempt to couch what was a pro-slavery war in romantic ideals and heroic deeds. I visited Richmond Virginia, the capital of the confederacy on the last bit of my trip and couldn’t believe our bloodiest conflict erupted basically between two capitals barely more than 100 miles apart. Statues of Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis were barely taken down two years ago. Only recently has the nation started to take an active part in rejecting the siren song of a feel-good story. How long will we keep it up and how far will our memory go, after all when I visit statues of Alexander The Great I don’t think of the man, I think of the god, and his list of accomplishments and atrocities float through my conscious mind with ease and without emotional burden.

The memorial to the Korean War haunts me still

The history of our nation and of the world is riddled with bloodshed, revolution, and turmoil. The many monuments devoted to the countless wars since our nation’s conception make that obvious. On the third day of my trip the supreme court struck down Roe V. Wade and protests erupted immediately on site. The only way to get lasting, real change in the US is through tireless coordination and effort, by constitutional design. I can’t help but think though that as a democracy, a crowd of protesters is inherent with the threat of violence against elected officials. After all if there is a disconnect in what the people say and what those in power do then the system has failed and what’s the ultimate and final way to take back the power? How long can we build towards our idea of a utopia before it all bubbles over again and we are forced to regenerate the only way we know how?

You Suffer

You Suffer

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English philosophers, scholars, and musicians Napalm Death have continuously pushed forward the discourse surrounding the atrophy of the mind living in service of multinational corporations. Their debut album Scum harbors intense dissections of amoral corruption, guilt via complacency, mass media control, and the exchange and origin of power. I want to focus in on one song in particular though, the voluminous epic You Suffer.

Make sure you carve out a healthy amount of time for this one

Clocking in at 1.316 seconds, the song is pregnant with existential quandary. Let’s break the song apart into its different dimensions by starting with the lyrics:

You suffer, but why?

The first half of the song sets the stage and forcefully reminds the listener that they suffer. The key to interpreting this part is of course knowing of suffering. Napalm Death cleverly removes the glut of having to explain the concept by assuming the listener has indeed suffered and continues to suffer. This assumption condenses what would otherwise weigh down an already lengthy song into abstract layers that maximize the use of its time. The words have been carefully chosen to make their thesis clear. The listener is forced to either reject or accept the hypothesis that they suffer. If accepted then they will have fallen into the trap made clear in the second half of the song. If rejected then the listener has been at least forced to self-reflect on why they think they don’t suffer. The emphasis is because inevitably one comes to the conclusion that even if they are not currently in the throes of pain and hardship, they have known it in some form or the other. Again, because of the carefully chosen language, tense is irrelevant. In a general sense humans suffer, and being directly addressed by the song brings forth memories of personal suffering whether it be physical, mental, or existential.

The second half of the song presents the listener with the central dramatic question, “but why?“. The guerrilla transition from exposition to challenge only serves to increase the impact of the lyrics. The listener is indeed in the middle of recounting the times they have suffered, or accepting that they are currently suffering when they are sonically assaulted by the tour de force second half of the song. Napalm Death makes the listener reconcile their personal pain with causes of it. On the surface it’s a simple question but the effect is that it shifts the thoughts from external evaluation of the self into the inner evaluation of the self. The band knowingly posits the question that will lead the listener on a bread crumb trail to self realization. Whether the addressee wants to or not they will come out on the other side of this experience having gained knowledge of themselves positive or negative. Rather than providing an answer, the band provides fertile ground for self examination, especially via the instrumentation which I will cover next.

Through a clever grindcore vocal technique of combining words, Napalm Death manages to condense the exaggerated 5 syllables of the lyrics into a more respectable 4 syllables. In doing so they allow the rest of the band members ample time to explore the sonic dimensions of suffering. The drummer, bassist, and guitarist first choose to use their respective instruments to imbue the words of the vocalist with weight and gravity by timing their notes to the cadence of the lyrics. This extra punctuation disarms the listener having a counterintutive effect of narrowing their focus on the words by removing any nondiegetic noise. Finally near the end of the song as the final words have been spoken the guitarist performs a virtuoso solo that dovetails into a final sustained note. This note provides the listener with a sort of mutable vessel on which they can fill with the answer to the question asked by the song. This liminal space between the lyrics and the song’s conclusion is inhabited fully by the catharsis of the listener.

Like the philosophers of old Napalm Death have tricked their listeners into interrogating the nature of not only suffering but their own suffering. Furthermore by providing no answer but instead a space for a response they make sure the addressee takes ownership of it, there can be no deflection. So what is your answer? I think at the root of the matter there is but one: “because I choose to”. Yet reading or hearing these words is not enough for understanding, they must come from within, from your being. Then and only then will the journey to apotheosis start.

Victory In The Valley

Victory In The Valley

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I blew past my previous max distance by a resounding 24 miles. The total elevation ended up coming up just under 5500′ which is about 500 merciful feet less than the route was described. Still it’s the most I’ve climbed on one of these long rides. I completed the route one hour and a half before the cutoff. Looking back on the ride itself, my previous post sounds childish (maybe it did anyways) with how strongly I managed to finish. Yet even the night before I was still in the throes of anxiety…

I rolled up to the Simi Valley Hotel I was staying at with Daniel around 5pm. I was immediately beset by concern because they had multiple “No bicycles permitted in building” signs plastered all over the entrances and windows. I wondered how this could have been such a recurring problem that it warranted such aggressive signage. I imagined Simi Valley being swarmed by flocks of cyclists at hotels but I never saw a single other one besides Daniel and the rest of the randonneurs I was heading out with. One thing bicycling has reinforced in me is that sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission, I believe they call this exercising your privilege. If you’re in a shady neighborhood you grab your bike and walk right into the store; If you’re at red light with a weight sensor and no cars for miles then you just roll on; if you feel unsafe on the shoulder of a road you just take up the whole lane instead. I gathered my nerves and walked right in with my bicycle already mentally preparing my defense: “Your website never said no bikes allowed”. The lobby was completely empty, I leaned my bike out of sight of the reception, checked in, and went to my room after the worker walked to the back room.

…

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Roles And Bad Faith

Roles And Bad Faith

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I watched Michael Mann’s Thief yesterday about, you guessed it, a thief. He’s the best thief, but he’s trying to get out of the business. You see this archetypal film a lot, “The best at x because it’s all they’ve ever known, but the consequences are catching up”. Compare this to another archetypal plot: “They’re the best at x but no one will give them a chance to prove themselves”. Of course there is the Hong Kong Kung Fu twist on this: “They have the potential to be the best at x but they need a master to help them achieve it”. It’s all influenced by the other now but this was a highlight between traditional Western and Eastern thought. Look at the cowboy films from the 60s, these badass men just drifted in from who knows where and they were masters of their art, fully formed from the womb no doubt. In the West we want to believe we can become masters using only extreme American gumption, and the tools at our disposal. In the East one can only achieve their true potential by acknowledging and listening to the wisdom of their elders. Like I mentioned though the two schools have mixed, at least in film (Think Kill Bill). James Caan’s thief did have a master in the form of a character played by Willie Nelson.

So what is it about these people that are the best at what they do that makes for a fascinating watch? All of our human existence is a struggle to learn and I think sometimes we want to fantasize about what happens when we get to the end. To use a concrete example, I’ve been cycling two years now and yeah I’d want to watch a film about the best cyclist (sit down Lance Fakestrong), what does that look like? What kind of super human feats could they accomplish? I know that objectively there is an actual best cyclist out there in the world since that’s how sports are structured, but give me a mythical, fictionalized one that I can aspire to, that will never break, disappoint or otherwise let me down. I think we all inhabit various roles every day of our lives, and there is satisfaction that comes from the being the best at it. Yet none of these roles are truly us.

To use an example from Jean-Paul Sartre that I just read about, say I am a waiter and I’m the best waiter gliding around a restaurant, taking orders, never forgetting a single item, never dropping a plate or delivering food late and charming all the patrons meanwhile. The totality of my being and energy in this moment is devoted to being an absolute badass waiter. Sartre describes this as living in bad faith with yourself because by inhabiting a role so perfectly you are undoubtedly pushing down the part of your consciousness that makes you a real person. So why do we do it? It feels good to perform. If we imagine an action as a series of miniature goals and targets then in a way every person on earth is an athlete and their sport is living. For example, as a waiter I know I have to take the orders of customers in the order that they arrived: that’s goal #1. I need to jot down or memorize the order correctly including customizations: goal #2. I need to deliver these orders to the kitchen on time: goal #3. These micro goals go on and on and achieving each one will produce some measure of satisfaction.

Another reason why we like to exist in bad faith is because it can be a form of meditation where we stop thinking of the pressures and anxieties that are outside of our control. It’s essentially a relief to inhabit some perfect (or perfect adjacent) version of ourselves that does not have to deal with pressures of true existence if even for a short while. It’s not a cure for our existentialist ailment of course, as our true authentic selves need to reassert eventually. Existing in a role for too long provides diminishing returns and if we lose sight of the compass that is our real being then we grow stale in the roles we have chosen for ourselves. This is the great wheel of life that capitalism (for one) has sunk its teeth into. Our jobs are defined by roles, and we are provided targets and goals for these roles. Corporations know that positive feedback titillates us, and providing a great amount of work for us to accomplish will keep us working by sheer force of existential dread. Yet even if we like our jobs, we are existing in bad faith because we ignore the multi-facetedness of our life. What’s more, existing in a role takes away our ability to choose, technically we are “deciding” to go to work every day, but ask yourself if you really are or if you feel forced to via the pressures surrounding you and then you’ll know that you’re living in bad faith. “But that’s what the weekend is for” I hear you corporate shills saying. Our lives should be lived in accomplishments, feats, decisions, and changes not in two days out of the week.

Fleeting

Fleeting

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I feel like it was five weeks ago that I was graduating college, elated, thinking I had my whole life ahead of me to make my mark upon it. It’s been almost 10 years since that and life continues to evaporate on sight. Where does it all go? Is it pooled up somewhere beneath the floorboards of my home waiting to be discovered? It’s 80% air and 20% chips. The more life I try to have, the faster it goes. Time dilation is a hell of a drug. Yet my purse holds but a meager three decades of life whereas others have lost more than that on a bet.

At a child’s birthday party last weekend I was acutely aware of the whole spectrum of current human existence. I’ll chalk it up to the first big event of the kind that I’ve been to since the great stop-gap of covid 19 but I could see the generational lines in the sand. The baby boomers were sitting, observing, and vibing with the kids, generation x was taking a chill pill and laying back as their children took on the duties of the party, the millennials were hurriedly looking after their kids and frantically making sure the festivities took place as planned, generation z was talking about the latest music and sitting in a corner laughing at tik toks, and the children…running around with boundless energy, ready to replace all of us.

I was there with my baby brothers who my father decided to have later in life. So I got a taste of what some of my friends are going through right now having to manage two walking, talkings ids. There was an octogenarian acquaintance of mine who I touched base with briefly since we hadn’t spoken in a long time and as we watched my little brothers marvel at the animals in the petting zoo he wasted no time delivering straight cold hard truths to me in only the way a man whose shed all pretense can. He told me how all the friends he went to high school with were dying, “that’s just the age I’m at.” I thought how crazy and distant that sounds, all my high school friends are buying homes, getting married and having kids. Yet I remember how quickly the last 10 years have flown by. When I was 15 I thought living on my own seemed almost impossible and here I am in the third decade of life in the blink of an eye spinning the plates of self-sustenance. All of a sudden it seems like getting to 80 and watching the world crumble around me doesn’t seem so far away. What’s the lesson here? Be present, self-reflect as much as you can, the saying goes that you don’t know you’re living in the good times until they are over but that sounds to me like that person never stopped for a beat to evaluate their happiness. Better yet, assume it’s always the good times and don’t ever stop making them so.

2016 hits the fan

2016 hits the fan

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2016, what can say about it that hasn’t been beaten into our collective consciousness already. It sucked for the world. On like a scale of things I didn’t think could happen, 2016 hit a pretty high note. Legendary musicians and actors dying left and right, a bitter and embattled election, more mass shootings, civil strife around the globe, Harambe. But it’s not all bad, Leo finally got an Oscar.  But I think everyone is well aware of that part of the year.

Things for me personally though have gone pretty well…for the most part. The first couple of months were rocky at best, but it led to great new opportunities, mainly my new job. My health is still a concern as well, though it certainly doesn’t seem like it. I’m not a fool, I know I’m pushing the “youth invincibility” thing too far already and I’m getting ready to take steps towards a healthier me again. Anyways people love lists at the end of the year right? (I’m people too I think). So here you go:

Top 10 things Jairo did in 2016 (In a particular order):

1. Landed a new job

Code Conf

Yep, you get number 1 right away. It’s awesome because it was finally a step in the direction of the career I always wanted when I was programming on those sleepless nights in college. My coworkers are great and they are very much focused not just on squeezing out great automated testing, but improving quality of all code and fostering a culture of testing. Having that shared focus really drives my inspiration and lets me get into that groove on a day-to-day basis. I’ve also been able to attend my first industry conference and a couple of meetups. Not to mention Silicon Beach perks are top notch 😉

10. Bought a House

Yeah that’s right you got the best good thing and the worst good thing right next to each other, this list doesn’t give a FUCK. Buying a house is painful. Half the time I wasn’t really sure what I was doing but you have to do your research as with all things in life. I can say I think I got the property at a good value, low enough interest rate on my mortgage, and Lancaster while being kind of on the wrong side of nowhere is an up and coming city that I think will propel the property value. So let’s avoid crashing the market again for a another century or so please. The house itself is great: 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a nice living room with a fireplace and chimney, lots of open space in the backyard, and the neighborhood is nice. Oh god…why am I talking like this.

3. Bought A New Car

I think I got really lucky here. For a long time my car of choice was a Dodge Challenger. I wanted it now while I’m still counted as being young because when I get it later I don’t want to hear any mid-life crisis BS. I wanted the blacktop edition, I had notions of putting a giant Punisher logo on the back or that Immortan Joe skull from Mad Max: Fury Road. I had dreams of driving it down desert highways, blasting Space Truckin’. Alas, it was not meant to be because in the end my sensibilities won over. There is no reason to drop a fortune on a base model Challenger when I can get a tricked out Chrysler 300c for an even lower price. Seriously, I’m still looking over my shoulder every day trying to figure how this baby was so cheap but so awesome. Leather interiors, heated seats, rear shades, rear cameras, media center, premium audio, all the bells and whistles. It’s such a comfortable car, makes the commute from Long Beach to Marina Del Rey a pleasure. And honestly anything was an upgrade from my 2000 Toyota Corolla with the broken stereo, broken indoor handles, and chronic oil problems.

4. Attended Riot Fest and The Misfits Reunion

 Jerry, Glenn, and Doyle

 

Never thought I would have a reason to go to Denver, but when I woke up one faithful morning to find out the classic Misfits lineup was getting back together I had a choice to make. Denver or Chicago? When you factored in housing and airplane tickets the choice was easy. Besides the Misfits the lineup was different for both dates and I’m still not entirely show which one was better but there was plenty to enjoy in Denver: Suicidal Tendencies, Chevy Metal, Jane’s Addiction, Bad Religion. We even managed to get out into the city a teensy bit for metal beers and food. But for sure the highlight was the Misfits themselves, they were on FIRE. It was like the lackluster Glenn Danzig covering his own misfits songs at the Legacy shows became someone who actually cared to put energy back into his performance. Doyle and Jerry crushed it and the set was and hour and a half of non-stop singing along. For sure it will probably be a highlight of my life not only this year.

9. Played Overwatch

That’s right, no thought being put into this ordering at all. I know what you’re thinking: wtf is a video game doing on this list. I would be straight up doing a disservice to the honesty of this blog if I didn’t put this on here because honestly…a huge chunk of 2016 was spent playing this game. I was a little turned off at the thought of an only-online, only-multiplayer game because Titanfall kinda ruined that concept for me years earlier. But through great peer pressure I purchased the game and never looked back. Blizzard’s steady stream of free new content and seasonal events keeps me coming for more. Now when me and my friends would usually be blowing money at the bars we tend to stay in and play instead. I know it sounds super lame but damn is it a money saver, the game has probably paid for itself a couple times over at this point.

8. Saw Bob Dylan Live

  Best photo I was able to get.

Seeing the main man Dylan in concert was….interesting. Bob Dylan is one of, if not, the greatest musicians of our time. His songs have influenced other musicians and the very culture of America for decades. So of course I wanted to see the maestro live. Especially since I had utterly failed at getting Oldchella( Desert Trip?) tickets. I definitely enjoyed the concert but I knew almost none of the songs and the ones I did manage to recognize had been vastly reworked by Dylan into completely different tunes. I guess there’s no reason to expect an artist to play what you want to hear but man I really would have grooved along to Positively 4th street. Regardless, it was definitely a bucket list item of mine and I would probably see him again if given the chance.

6. Saw The Who Live

That-what’s-it-now?

Speaking of Oldchella acts I watched solo, I also had the opportunity to see The Who tear up the Staples Center earlier in the year. It was so great, the old Englishmen have not lost their energy. Pete Townshend can still rip through the guitar licks like no one’s business. I wish I could have seen them with Keith Moon on the drums but in this day and age I’ll take The Who any way they come. Their music has always stood apart for me in the realm of classic rock greatness. They have the ability to construct really epic songs out of devastatingly simple riffs or can get complex as hell with several layers of synth and effects, and there’s so much energy in each member’s playing, it’s infectious. It was great to see them and I would jump on the chance to do it again. Another bucket list item checked.

7. Attended Punk Rock Bowling

 Flag

What do you do when you’re in between jobs and have a week off. Go to Vegas. I wouldn’t consider myself Punk by any means but I do listen to a lot of hardcore punk and crossover. The genetic identity of punk and metal really isn’t so different and the anti-establishment culture of Punk sits mostly well with me too. A lot of my friends were going to this too so why the hell not. It turned out to be awesome and a great way to relieve some of the stress that had built in the first quarter of the year. Going to Vegas is usually okay but being there with a bunch of punks and (I suspect) metalheads is what makes it next level great. It was like a little counter-culture takeover of the most mainstream party destination. Didn’t feel like I was surrounded by frat guys and old rich people anymore. I only attended one day of the festival itself and got to see the ‘Black Flag’ offshoot ‘Flag’ play their set and I could dig it.The icing on the cake was finally being able to see Rock Of Ages the musical.

5. Had a Rocktober Birthday

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This year I had one of the best birthdays in recent memories. Lots of bands were coming through L.A. on tour in the month of October, three concerts alone  on my birthday week. 6 in total that month and I went to all of them. Devin Townsend Project co-headlining with Between the Buried and Me, Meshuggah with support by High On Fire, Opeth playing a monstrous double set, Ghost, Tiger Army’s Octoberflame, and Tenacious D’s Festival Supreme where I finally saw Weird Al and Flight of the Conchords amongst other acts. Maybe you’ve noticed a pattern here but I love going to live music especially bands I like that I’ve never seen before or bands that put on a great show and having all these great bands tour in October was a great birthday present. I also had the most birthday-ish party in recent memory at the new house in Lancaster with good friends and family.

 

…and drum roll please, the second best thing I did this year was…

 

2. Visited the Pacific Northwest

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Took a trip to Portland and Seattle. My cousin lives in Portland so I got a nice little insider tour of the coolest neighborhoods and bars, But I think what we really explored in Oregon was the nature. We drove along the Historic Columbia River Highway and it was breathtaking. We ended up at Multnomah Falls and we climbed up the stairs a bit to see the waterfall then we retreated to the lodge for some drinks and appetizers. We had a rental car on hand so we drove from Oregon to Seattle (like a 3 hour drive) and just seeing the forests and rivers on the way was awesome, you really get a sense of the life people lead up there. Seattle probably deserves it’s own post here because we did a lot but the highlight for me was the EMP museum. They had so many exhibits that were so relevant to my interests I had a hard time seeing it all. There was a sci-fi wing, horror, fantasy, a dedicated Star Trek exhibit. There was an exhibit on the grunge movement, Jimi Hendrix, Indie video games, the history of the electric guitar. There was so much to see, I will probably have to go back if I ever travel to Seattle again. Seattle the city itself was great too,  we stayed on a tugboat that our host graciously took out onto Washington Lake for us one day. We also visited the Public Market, the Aquarium, took a boat tour around the city, visited the space needle, and the Starbucks Roastery.  It was a great experience.

Honorable Mentions:

Iron Maiden: finally the show I deserved after seeing them the last time where they played almost none of their hits 🙁

Watching Cannibal Corpse twice in a year: brutal.

Finally launching this website: I toyed with the idea of writing my own code from scratch for a long time but I got over it. I just need to write.

Camping at Catalina Island: I kind of hated it but it was an experience I needed to have.

Destination wedding at San Luis Obispo: The wedding party stayed in such a nice little estate in the hills, and the reception was in a barn on someone’s farm land. It was good times.

Black Sabbath: I saw the godfathers of metal on their last tour and I kind of regret not seeing them again on the second leg but oh well. they still sound so evil.

Bachelor Party at Lake Tahoe: It was awesome, and that’s all I’m allowed to say.

The Adicts Show: Probably one of the best shows I’ve seen and I was not prepared for it at all.

 

See you in 2017.

The 8th of November.

The 8th of November.

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I want to expand on my previous post and reflect a bit more on V for Vendetta, I thought it would be a good exercise given the current political climate. Perhaps some underlying truth can be gleaned from the things I write, or perhaps I’m just nerding out. V for Vendetta is many things but at it’s heart it’s a story of revolution. V’s play is to strengthen the people to take back the power of government into their own hands. So the most important thing he does is wear the mask, and it could have been any mask. But by doing so you remove the man from the idea. Who is V? who cares? Everyone can be V (as Natalie Portman points out), the people need to band together under an idea to take back the power.

This notion is kind of paradoxical though because V’s plan would have never worked if he didn’t take matters into his own hands as someone willing to do things that an average person wouldn’t; he had to be the superman while all the while convincing the people that he was no different from them.  Maybe something else would have sparked the revolution although from the way future Britain was portrayed everyone was happy just complacently existing. So what really triggered it is what created V and empowered him to take action and that is personal tragedy. Whoever V was is gone: imprisoned, experimented on, and baptized in fire V literally had his identity burned away. All that remains is rage and hatred, and this is tempered over time into what becomes his purpose, a Vendetta against those who destroyed him. V perhaps correctly comes to the conclusion that simply dispensing “justice” to those who wronged him, while personally satisfying, will not fix the real reason he was persecuted: The government, or more specifically the Norsefire party that manipulated these events to ensure a fascist victory. So he has to ensure the downfall of the party as part of his Vendetta or his work will not be done.

So what’s the take-a-way from this? There are no supermen in the real world. No one’s going to swoop in and inspire us to take back the power. Instead we got Anonymous who much like V himself has suspect motivations at best. These groups who have sprung up around us act more like world police acting in spite of the people as opposed to on their behalf and by their will. The symbolic gesture of Evey pulling the lever that would explode parliament needed to happen, if V himself had done it then he would be no different from the fascist dictator he was trying to overthrow. But even Evey wasn’t a total representation of the people because V himself stripped her of her identity and fear in the jail cell, and was baptized by rain washing away the doubt that remained.

But do we need a revolution? It’s easy to take arms when you’re being unequivocally oppressed. When your liberties have been taken away, your freedom of expression is gone, and there are no checks and balances among those in power. You could say V only had but to suggest the idea of a revolution to get the people on his side. But society today is a little more complicated, it’s hard to have conviction unless you have personally suffered at the hands of injustice. So now we hit on the theme again, personal tragedy leads to revolution, but not as easily as is portrayed in the film. The hard part in today’s society is convincing those unaffected by an issue to make a stand in favor or against it. In the movie every citizen was being actively oppressed and that led everyone to revolt. In the world today there are different areas of oppression and they overlap in confusing ways. Are you more oppressed for being black or gay or is being both worse than the sum of its parts? So instead we have movements and those movements are revolutions in and of themselves. These movements seek to bring awareness to issues and to convince the people outside of those directly affected to join their ranks.

So ask yourself this: Are you trying to enact change or are you resisting it? Is that change trying to oppress a section of the population who has no control over the issue? Do your feelings come from a place of fear? Are you letting the fascists win? Don’t vote for a politician, vote for the issues they represent. Don’t vote out of fear, vote out of conviction. Attain that conviction by burning away all the layers of yourself and exposing nothing but the raw core of your humanity underneath. You may feel your vote doesn’t count but you can’t be part of a revolution by staying on the sidelines.

Turning the inner eye

Turning the inner eye

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I already procrastinated over a month in getting my next post out which is a very poor rate of blogging as far as things go. But I told myself that I wouldn’t put pen to paper (ed note: fingers to keys) unless I had something churning around in my mind’s stomach and I needed to eject it. Yet, even now I’m not writing because I had an intense thought or emotion I’m just here hammering this out because I’m in a position where I’m just waiting for some things to finish, I’m in a foreign environment, I’m cut off from my usual means of entertainment and my internal bullshit meter has reached it’s fill. So don’t ever let yourself think that creativity comes from a place of routine, but I’m sitting here feeling uncomfortable as all get-out and decided it was a good time to take a stock of the state of Jairo 2016.

I was introduced to the concept of  a mind palace by Sherlock on BBC. There was the one episode where it was used to great effect as a plot device. The concept is interesting, you correlate things you want to memorize to a spatial journey. This way you make a strong connection physically with what you try to remember rather than just abstractly trying to burn something into your mind. The way it was used in the show though was more like a sandbox for Sherlock to spend the time in between seconds pondering out possibilities while also using it for memory recall. I liked the idea of having an actual mind palace where your memories and life experiences are mapped to objects, rooms, or wings inside of it. This is probably the CS major in me trying to enforce order and relationships upon the abstract but wouldn’t it be cool to walk through time and memories as if you were taking a casual stroll in your mansion. So I know what you’re thinking, do I have a mind palace?

Mind shack
Hell yes I do

Alright it’s more like a mind shack. Sometimes stuff gets stolen, or the rain will seep in and make everything soggy, but the general ideas stay intact a little blurry around the edges. Bugs might creep in, and there’s no real plumbing and I can only have a finite amount of things stored in there before I have to throw other things out to make room. Right so you get the extended metaphor here, I’m pretty bad at memories. You could say it’s an early sign of onsetting dementia sure, or that I get such terrible sleep that I can’t process long term memories correctly,  some people might even be inclined to think I’m so selfish I only remember things directly concerning me…that may be true as well. I think the real reason I have such a terrible memory though is because ain’t nobody got time for processing memories. Gotta live fast and loose with my limited RAM, can’t afford wasting those sweet, sweet cycles to write to disk.

The sleepier I get the faster the insanity sets in. I’ll stop writing now before I start jairucinating. What’s that? you thought this post was going somewhere? nope…just killing time. Jairo out!